Summer Travel Odds: We Bet We Know What You'll be Doing this Year

Posted May 30th 2013 10:59 AMUpdated Mar 4th 2015 10:51 AM


summer minivan road trip

Now that Memorial Day has passed and you've had your first delicious taste of summer, we know what you're thinking: What other summer travel adventures await? Information about how summer travel season will shape up is still coming in, but we've diligently crunched the available numbers* and we're betting we have a pretty good sense of how things how things are going to go. Are you? These are your summer travel odds.
  • Odds you'll take a road trip: 7:5
  • Odds it will be a last-minute escape from the cicadas invading the East Coast: 4:1
  • Odds someone in the backseat will say "I have to go to the bathroom" one minute after you pass the sign that reads, Next Rest Stop: 52 miles: 7:5
  • Odds you'll stop at a remote gas station and buy a snack you'll regret eating: 4:1
  • Odds that snack will be some sort of "meat stick": 10:1
  • Odds you'll pay less for gas than you did last summer: 6:5
  • Odds you'll sing along with the most ubiquitous song of the summer on the car radio during your road trip: 2:5
  • Odds that the most ubiquitous song of the summer will feature Pitbull: 7:1
  • Odds you will arrive on the beach, unpack your bag and discover you forgot to pack your sunscreen: 5:1
  • Odds you'll travel to the drug store to buy a tub of aloe vera: 12:1
  • Odds you'll go somewhere simply because a sign told you it was free: 2:1
  • Odds you'll go somewhere simply because you've followed the smell of grilled food: 5:1
  • Odds that the grilled food will lead you to a summer festival: 7:1
  • Odds that a band at the summer festival will perform an ironic version of that Pitbull song you've already heard 57 times: 9:1
  • Odds you'll encounter an actual, real-live wild animal during your travels: 5:2
  • Odds that the wild animal will smell the scent of "meat stick" on you and chase you down: 250:1
  • Odds you'll cap at least one summer day with a bar or restaurant's signature drink: 3:2
  • Odds the name of the signature drink will be a pun: 4:1
  • Odds you'll daydream of drinking that signature drink at a beachside bar on an island: 2:1
  • Odds you'll actually spend some time on an island: 7:1
  • Odds that at some point you'll instead end up at a theme park: 5:2
  • Odds you'll ride the Dragon Twister roller coaster with your 11-year-old twins and feel queasy for three days: 5:1
  • Odds that the line for the Dragon Twister will be longer than the security line at the airport: 20:1
  • Odds you'll take off your shoes at the airport security checkpoint and sand from the beach will spill out: 12:1
  • Odds you'll pay more fees with your airfare than you did last summer: 2:5
  • Odds your flight home will be delayed due to the sequester: 500:1
  • Odds your flight home will be delayed due to thunderstorms: 3:2
  • Odds that Labor Day will be here before you know it and summer will be over, but you won't want it to end. Even if it means keeping that *%&$*#! Pitbull song stuck in your head: Guaranteed

*Disclaimer: By "crunching" these numbers we mean we pretty much made them up.

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Filed Under: Beach, Family, Seasonal, Road Trips