William and Kate's Sexiest Wedding Present: a Giant Seychelles Nut
While honeymooning in the Seychelles, Prince William and Kate Middleton received a rather risque present from the islands' foreign minister: a gigantic nut famous for looking like a lady's nether regions and being a strong aphrodisiac.
The Australian Associated Press reports that the couple was given a coco de mer, the world's largest nut and a product endemic to the islands.
The form of coconut became famous among British seamen when the rare coconuts were found bobbing the water off the Seychelles, prompting more than one double-take. On making landfall, one General Gordon declared the nuts native habitat, the Vallee de Main on Praslin island, to be the Garden of Eden and the nut to be the fruit of knowledge.
Today, Coco de Mer will ring a bell for more liberal Londoners as one of the UK's oldest and most luxurious sex shops, a business that planned to sell Coco de Mer whips and perfumes until being sued for trademark infringement by Coco Chanel.
For royal watchers, the gift may symbol the start of baby watch. Kate did mention she wanted to have kids while in Canada, you know.
No news agency has reported whether or not the prince scooped out the inside of the nut, consumed it and then was himself consumed by sexual passion. It should be at least a day or two before the British tabloids start speculating.
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